You get your ass over here right now. And I don't wanna hear any of your jabber about hurricanes and Kinko's. Lemme tell you something, "Roger," I was facing storms worse than your pansy Isabel out on the open seas before you were even a sperm awaiting deployment in your Daddy's nutsack. And not only did I find the time to face MY enemies, I even found the time to get in a game or two of Yahtzee with Quick Kick and Lady Jaye. So be a man and get over here right now!
Now you listen to me, you little pickle-hatted land-loving weiner. I got a serious bone to pick with you over one of your "humorous" pieces. Can you guess which one? If you said the
Lost GI Joe Public Service Announcements, you'd be right on the money, honey!
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"Sailors do not control their parrots. Their parrots control them... and you're next."[/center:41ba3ab7c6]
And don't get me started on the "hamburger meat" comment made later in the same piece.
You got some stones in your funpouch, lemme tell you. You got the nerve to make a claim that I am a bitch to my parrot, Polly? You can idolize and do his bidding all you like, you sissy. But I'm SHIP-FUCKING-WRECK, junior! I don't take no orders from a pet. You got that?
And you know what else? You take a lot of shots at a lot of folks there. But I noticed Sergeant Slaughter was conveniently left out of all three PSA pieces you did. Why's that? I'll tell you why. Because you KNEW the cartoon character was a counterpart to a real-life Slaughter, and you didn't want him tearing you a new asshole if he ever saw you making fun of him. Well I got news for you; He's not the only one of us Joes that are real. And now you called down the thunder. You wanna whine about a hurricane? Wait until you see the forecast I got for you:
PARTLY BLOODY, WITH A CHANCE OF DEATH!
And for the record, Polly passed away a good 12 years ago, and his successor, Polly II, has also passed on. So next time you think you're being funny, you might wanna show some respect for the dead before you start smacking away a your keyboard, laughing to yourself about how great you think you are.
For how many God-damned years did I fight off COBRA, to make sure that your way of life could be safe and secure? I guess that doesn't mean jack shit to you punk kids, huh? I may be retired now, but I can still put a boot in your ass if you so much as THINK of pulling this crap again. I didn't defend this country to be insulted by someone with no respect for everything we sacrificed for this country.
Thank You, and Good Day,
Shipwreck
PS - Here's a Public Service Announcement for ya; Webmasters of shitty humor sites should watch their backs.
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