Burnface

[Jixby Phillips]

There's this girl I knew in highschool who was a burn victim. She had burnscars on her face. She was in my sophmore science class. I sat in front of her. One day she had her Spanish book out, which was so hilariously defaced by whoever had it before her. The cover had a picture of a woman, and on her somebody had drawn a mustache, a goatee, glasses, devil horns, etc. For some reason people around her were all like "hahaha" and I decided to make a funny joke. That funny joke was "You should draw some stuff on her face!"

See, my joke was that I was pretending to be stupid, and that I thought that the stuff that was drawn on was actually how the woman looked, and that I was suggesting she deface it. But the way she interpreted it was much different. At first she didn't get the joke, and she looked at me and went "huh?" So in trying to clarify I simply repeated the joke louder, this time motioning towords my face. When I motioned towords my face, it mirrored the places that she had burn scars. She thought I was suggesting that she draw scars on the woman's face so that it looked like her. She stormed out of the room, pissed off. I was too gutless to confront her and tell her that she had misunderstood. I went for the "well she's wrong and I'm right so fuck her and let her think I'm an asshole" route.

Well, anyway, I saw her at work last night. She bought Popcorn and Soda from me. It was awkward.