name the top 5 weirdest things that have ever happened 2 u

[Mike]

1. When I was a very young kid I was in a restaurant taking coins out of a huge fountain that was set in the floor. A lady came and yelled at me to stop, saying those were "people's wishes" or some garbage. She walked too close to the stone edge and one of the stones tipped over and she fell into the water. Maybe not so weird, but it was fuckin hilarious. Man she was pissed.

2. One time I found a dead snake in the street. I took it home to make a grave for it in the ground and I noticed that it had something in its mouth. I opened the mouth and I found a quarter in there.

3. I saw a bible in a motel. It said it was left by some giddlens or something. I asked my uncle what a giddlen is and he slapped me and threw the bible out the door. It fell down from the balcony. When I went to see where it had landed I saw that it was on the roof of a black car that looked like a hearse.

4. Freshman year of college my roommate got pissed at me and starting ripping a poster of mine off the wall. I tried to restrain him but he thought I was tackling him. He fought back and I fought harder and he gave up and ran out. Later I got kicked out of the dormitory by the Gay and Lesbo Center for committing a hate crime against my roommate due to his homosexuality. This was the first time I had even heard that he was gay.

5. One time in Mexico I saw a bald man run screaming out of the ocean. He laid down on the beach and wept with a misery such as I've never seen again. This was the first time I'd seen a man cry. I came over to him to see what was wrong. He'd been stung by a jelly-fish on his head. Someone ran to get a nearby restaurant manager and he ran out with a bottle of beer and started pouring it on the guy's head. At least he said it was beer. I later found out that it was actually piss that he'd saved for such an incident.