DJ Potatoe was hungry. All we have here is healthy stuff, to which he is allergic. So, we need to have a pizza in order to keep our DJ Potatoe alive and vivacious. Unfortunately, we don't have money, so I try to cook one on my own.
An hour later I check back on it to find that my oven shares a curious temporal relationship with the most active volcano in all of Mordor.
Forged in the fires of Mt. Doom, this pizza serves only one master, and bends the will of all men to evil.
Schimid couldn't resist the pizza's evil and tries to steal it from Potatoe. In the struggle, I saw an opening and took advantage.
It was at this unfortunate moment that Schimid criticized my cooking, and now I, at the pizza's suggestion, was not going to allow this injustice to persevere unpunished.
Schimid's curious combination of sweat from playing DDR and the generic conditioner he had used earlier that morning shattered the One Pizza into a... few pieces.
It was at that moment the One Pizza heard the beckoning of its lord Sauron and stole off into the sky, never to be seen from again. Sorry about that, Legolas.
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