how do you go

[sadie]

why does hope need to be specific to be rational?

my cousin, who was like my best friend at the time, was suicidal. i spent hours and hours trying to nurture some hope--any hope--in him. he ended up drowning in the river; it seems the water was too cold and he got caught up in some undergrowth. needless to say, i've always wondered if it was accidental. this was over ten years ago.