This didn't really happen... But what if it did?

[McClain]

So I'm at a Holiday Luncheon for terminally ill children. I'm there as a volunteer to help out with gifts and for general welcoming. I'm in my uniform. (Kids like to see that shit. Makes them all happy and whatnot.)

A young child, who was battling lukemia and had no hair, sat down next to me as I was enjoying a brisk iced tea and asked if she could wear my Navy hat. It would have been a nice gesture and there were cameras standing by for the photo op. Her mother clasped her hands and made that, "awwwwww!" noise as to say how cute!

As I opened a pack of Sweet & Low and stirred it in my iced tea, I said, "Hell no. Get your own. This cost me $6.00."

She ran to her mother and cried. I carried out the remainder of the event as if it never happened.

Am I going to hell?