Buying cards... ugggggggggg
I have just returned home from a fun 30mins of card buying... i hate it so much, im not sure why exactly, it should be the simplest of things to buy over christmas and yet for some reason the mere thought of standing in that endless isle containing row apon row of vomit induceing, santa covered, crap fills me with loathing.
Its not just the fact i have to leave the house either, the process of picking out that special christmas message from thousands of others is a tricky business. Its like a mine field in there. You have to find the most unimaginative and plain, yet still conveying the christmas sprit, card.
luckily the shop keepers arranged the cards into nice sections.
We have....
Animals
Kittens frolicing in an icey tundra or puppies with ammusing oversized santa hats. Also a few tasteful portraits of reeindeers and such like.
Bears
While technically animals over 50% of the cards i saw today had god awful teddy bears holding flowers and hearts and stuff.... ugggg. Fucking awful crap.
Old fasioned style paintings
Picture-esc landscapes with snowey cabbins and christmas trees next to open fires with children playing with their newly aquired toys.
Tacky shit.
Novelty oversized cards
For the people which a regular sized card just isnt good enough. These are the tackyest pieces of crap on the planet. If anyone buys one i hope they die.
"WOW LOOK HOW BIG THIS CARD IS
. I FEEL SO LOVED
"
Comedy
Usually obcene, these allow the family joker to look funny. an example of one of these i saw today with a message similar to
"for christmas i want a man so well endowled that his balls sound like four nuns clapping on my ass"
i didnt read the inside but it no doubt had an equally witty punchline. ugggggg
There are plenty more types featuring all manner of seasonal messages but these are the main offenders i can think of.
Oh well, at least now is the longest possible time before i have to go again.
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