OMG!! BASEBALL STEROID HEARINGS!!

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OH!! OH!! OH Christ!! BASEBALL STEROID HEARINGS!! THIS IS SO CRUSHINGLY, IMMEDIATELY IMPORTANT AND SO DIRE I CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE UNTIL THIS IS TAKEN CARE OF! THIS SHOULD BE OUR NUMBER ONE NATIONAL PRIORITY, NOTHING IS MORE CRUCIAL!! QUICK EVERYONE, BACKBURNER THE MICHAEL JACKSON TRIAL!!



see?! SEE?! WHO SAYS THERE'S NO PLACE FOR HOT, BIPARTISAN ACTION ANYMORE!? THANK THE GOOD LORD WE CAN COME TOGATHER AS A NATIONA OVER THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE OF OUR TIME,, BASEBALL STEROID USE!!

SHUT UP IRAQIS!! DIE MORE QUIETLY YOU DARFUR SONES OF BITCHES!! IGNORE THE MAN DRILLING BEHIND THE CURTAIN IN ALASKA!! WE ARE TALKING STEROIDS!!! STEEEEEEERRRRROOOOOIDS!!