Well I finally got a job at Vons, a division of Safeway!
Anyway after all my training(with extra focus on sexual harassment) I started working yesterday(today?) from 12am-7am. I'm glad I'm on the night crew since I don't need charisma to handle customers or wear a crappy uniform
OK so immediately I'm given the nickname "Frosty Jr." since I'm going to be assigned to stocking the frozen section all week with this 46 year old guy. We also like to speak in code after he asks me "How's it goin'?"
"Okay." = My fingers are in that gentle numbness I get when I'm beaten asleep everynight
"Not bad." = AHHHHHHHH OMG AHHHHHHHHHHHH
"Pretty good." = MAKE IT STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IM GOING TO DIE BY FROSTBITE IN SO.CAL. IT ISNT RIGHT
So after a while he started ranting about how I shouldn't trust corporate america and all that stuff...then he started talking about the statewide strike they had a few years ago (remember everyone?
) and how they lost a lot afterwards. That's when I learned I would have been making $11 an hour before the strike compared to the $7.55 now
So after a while another one of my bosses runs over and tries to pat frosty(the guy I'm with) HARD in the crotch with his hand. He sees the look on my face and says "We're gay. We're gay like that!" Then he runs off with one of those screaming laughs. So now I gotta watch out for gay ninjas on the job
After finishing frozen foods, I let my purple hands turn back into their pasty white color and moved onto the rest of the store. That's where I saw my boss from before working with this middle-aged lady. "Look at her! Have you ever seen a woman her age work like her?!?! You should've seen her in her 20s!!!! I nailed her in her 20s"
That's when she let loose this verbal avalanche of obscenities on the guy. I was only able to catch bits and pieces of it like "knuckle shuffle" and "fuck you sideways BITCH". After it was all over he said "Well I guess I should stop telling people that since her old man is in the mafia!" What made that seem somewhat believable was her nervous laugh when he said it. So now I wanna know more but I probably shouldn't ask :/
So anyway I guess a job where I get to play with boxcutters and the bosses are bat-shit crazy isn't that bad...
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