Did I just screw everything up before it even began?

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Originally Posted by Chojin

AT ANY RATE LEROY, some women require a certain amount of kisses to continue everyday woman operations, and should they fall below their body's predetermined kiss quotient, they slip into a babbling comatose state and make uncomfortable threads in Loveline with Cosmo. Should they be found in their studio apartment in this state and kissed, they can one day hope to live a normal life, albeit without use of their vagina, which at that point has sprouted an ancient, gnarled tree that coincidentally looks exactly like the ones in Mortal Kombat 2.

More likely than not, this young lady thought you were an upstanding individual from your conversation in Ronald's Playpen, and turned to you when the zero hour arrived and FATE FORCED HER TO CHOOSE BETWEEN WOMAN AND TERRA and you totally got the wrong idea and unrelatedly should kill yourself because there's probably a glistening egg in your stomach now and the cycle has to stop somewhere.

You made me spit water out of my nose and onto my keyboard.