Most annoying things I've come across lately

[Professor Poddar]

So it has been decreed. So, further, shall any and all offenders, past, present, or future, alter their deplorable habits upon perusal of the following...

- People who enter a room in which you're reading or watch t.v., and then turn on the light, saying "You'll hurt your eyes."
- The misuse of the apostrophe. You don't say "I bought some cd's," jabberwocky, you say "I bought some cds." Your mailbox shouldn't say "The Johnson's," it should say "The Johnsons."
- People who call for a boycott of French goods. As if you've ever bought ANYTHING from France, Jim Bob... back in the trailer wi' ye! Scoot!
- People who drink bottled water. You may as well tack a "Total Fucking Twat" note to your forehead. There's NOTHING wrong with tap-water. We're not living in fucking Albania, you cunt!
- The saying "24-7". You're too white to employ that one, buddy. Please hang it up. NOW.
- Coffee-shop liberals. Pay your own bills for but a single week, whey-faced little brats, and I am certain that you'll feel differently about giving away 30% of your paycheck to dregs, degenerates, addicts, and layabouts.
- Italian-American groups claiming that The Sopranos & The Godfather unfairly stereotype their people. The Mafia is real, you fucking fucks. Accept it. Anyway, I don't know why you're ashamed of La Cosa Nostra, you gimps-- anyone who can Whack at Will is pretty damned cool.
- Line beards. Grow a full beard or don't grow one at all.
- People who are against hunting, but buy meat from the store. Yes, I have come across such wankers, believe it or not.