Reality Shows Starring People No One Cares About

[Kitsa]

...or maybe everyone cares about them but me, and can explain to me why I should.

Is it the "love to hate" factor? If so, why do we stress ourselves out like that? I mean, show after show about brats with an overinflated sense of entitlement.

I've always hated My Super-Sweet 16. People over, say, 20 will realize that these girls are laughingstocks, but in my eyes the show is dangerous. For every 20- or 30-something laughing at these silly girls, there are probably ten or twelve adolescents watching with big eyes, making plans.

I've always hated it when kids try to parlay their parents' success into their own right to enforce some sort of social hierarchy. I've seen children of executives and physicians be rude to grownup "subordinates" because they assume they have the right, as in "Don't you know who my daddy is?" I don't think there's any excuse for that, and it makes me wince when these 15 year old girls treat party-planning professionals and others like garbage because they're (read: Daddy's) so important and it's THEIR day. From the $8,000 "grand entrance" dresses to the $50,000 rapper guest appearances and the ubiquitous BMW as a demanded gift, the whole show is garbage to me.

Most hateful teenager yet: a girl (some sort of pop star, I'd never heard of her) who whined that she didn't love her new puppy because its face was too dark. She literally wouldn't have a thing to do with it until a stylist made a housecall to add "lowlights" to the poor dog's face. Sure enough, the minute the puppy had endured this, the girl squealed, "Oh, I love him now!" and lavished affection on it.

Then there are these shows like the one about the Carter family (who?) and, more recently and evilly, Keeping Up With the Kardashians. As Joel McHale of The Soup (same network, oddly) says, "Kim Kardashian, famous for having a big ass and a sex tape." And as far as I can see, that's about all she's got going. And the "dead behind the eyes sisters" (quoting Joel McHale again)...I don't know what their thing is. All this genre ever shows is transitory celebrities lolling around their sprawling homes, having pointless squabbles and living out various frivolous, moneyed fantasies.

How many overpaid LA-types do we really need to watch hanging around, gossiping, drinking coffee drinks and calling each other to discuss whatever nonevent has top priority in their lives at the moment?

Then there are all of the "wedding" shows. There's Bridezillas (of the obnoxious voiceover), in which grown women who should know better reenact the Sweet 16 crap. There are the lesser bridal shows, about fat brides and rich brides and wedding planners. I actually enjoyed the "Redneck Weddings" show until the whole thing started looking suspiciously staged. Does every redneck bride wear camo?

There are shows about prima-donna hairdressers and pet groomers. There are shows about wannabe models and wannabe chefs. There are even shows about wannabe venereal disease recipients (see Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Rock of Love, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila).
Remember Paradise Hotel, where the object was to "hook up" with as many people as possible? Gross.

There are those Bachelor shows and their bastard ripoffs like Joe Millionaire. Remember how stupid that one was, all these girls fighting over the money they thought this guy had.

I'm not even going to go into the home renovation shows beccause I can't stand to watch them. Prima donna real estate agents? Really?

I'm also not going into Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie, the Marie Antoinette and Princesse de Lamballe of our day. Actually, that's not really being fair to the Princesse de Lamballe, who was a goodish sort of girl, but what I mean is that it's a wonder they weren't being hoisted on pikes at the height of that whole thing.

I know networks seize on these reality shows because they're cheap to produce...hey, no writers needed! But really, there are so many now. There are more unscripted shows out there than scripted, I think, and it's only going to get worse.

Oh. By the way. Hogan Knows Best...what the hell was with that?