Guess what I have to do!

[Jeanette X]

Guess what I have to do! Just guess!

I have to be tested for intestinal parasites because I've been having nausea and diarrhea for the past two months!

Guess how they test you for that! Guess!

They need a stool sample!

I have to defecate into an empty ice cream tub that I sterilized at home, and scoop it into three separate jars! Then I have to use a little spoon to mix it into the solution so they can make sure I don't have tapeworm eggs or some other horrible thing in it! Then I have to seal each jar, put them into little baggies, and bring them to the hospital to be tested!

DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE ME?! DON'T YOU WISH YOU THAT YOU COULD BE SCOOPING YOUR OWN SHIT WITH LITTLE PLASTIC SPOONS AND SAVING IT?! THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!

I'm sitting here waiting for the stool to form. I'm going to wait until I can't hold it any longer, and then I'm going to go and do it. I hope I can do this and get it over with, I have a feeling its going to be hard to shit into anything other than a toilet, just psychologically speaking.

Aaargh.