Set Fire to Myself Today

[Bod]

I've got a really dodgy gas cooker and I was boiling an egg. I used the end on my sleeve to lift the pan lid and all the loose threads went up in flames. I was beating the flames out with my hand but could hear the flames going around my back.

I would have rolled on the floor but my kitchen is too small! But I did manage to remove my burning top and jump on it.

All that just from boiling one egg.