Dear Lord, the outlook is grim. BUT, I have managed to track down several suitable bachelors for you!
Antisocial, even by internet standards, GEOFF!
http://www.myspace.com/axila
The New Jersey High School Graduate!
http://www.myspace.com/jerzeedrive
The fucking VAMPIRE FROM KENTUCKY
www.myspace.com/kynightwalker
Representation from Florida, America's Armpit (and a Vegas import, no less):
www.myspace.com/pornguy69
And the prerequisite American football fanatic:
PABLO