X versus Y, who would win?

[Big McLargehuge]

Y is both a consonant and a vowel where as X is only a consonant and a rarely used one at that. But X is a "voiceless velar fricative" in the IPA which sounds like an awesome job and all Y is is a "close front rounded vowel". X is that guy you know, nobody knows what he does but somehow he always has money. He travels and smokes cigarettes drinks porto from the bottle. Stays where ever and gets laid a lot. Y has a family to feed, no nonsense. He has an important job and is well respected in his community, you can count on Y, also his wife is frigid. By every societal standard Y is winning but why then God is he so unhappy?