BEER AND SANDWICHES

[Grislygus]

I LIKE BEER AND SANDWICHES

EVERYONE LIKES BEER AND SANDWICHES

HERE ARE SOME BEER AND SANDWICHES

ITALIAN BAKE

Hoagie rolls, Olive oil, Italian Salad Dressing, Swiss Cheese, Cherry Tomatoes , Pickles, Onions, Sliced Ham, Salami (OPTIONAL YELLOW MUSTARD BECAUSE MUSTARD IS GOOD WITH BEER AND SANDWICHES)


THIS IS A RECIPE FOR A LOT OF SANDWICHES. TOAST AS MANY THE HOAGIE ROLLS AS NEEDED FOR A LOT OF SANDWICHES. DICE AS MANY PICKLES, ONIONS, AND CHERRY TOMATOES AS NEEDED FOR A LOT OF SANDWICHES. MIX IN BOWL WITH ITALIAN DRESSING AND A SMALL DALLOP OF OLIVE OIL. SHOULD NOT BE TOO LIQUIDY. PUT SWISS CHEESE, HAM, AND SALAMI IN HOAGIE ROLLS AND SPREAD VEGGIE/DRESSING/OIL MIX OVER HAM AND SALAMI AND CHEESE. WRAP ITALIAN HOAGIES IN TIN FOIL AND BAKE AT 300 DEGREES UNTIL AWESOME MELTY GOODNESS SETS IN. EAT LOTS OF SANDWICHES. DRINK PERONI OR FAT TIRE. BEER AND SANDWICHES!
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GRISLYGUS’ PATENT-PENDING FAVORITE SANDWICH

Pastrami, Rye bread, RED Onions, Jalapenos, Butter, Louisiana Hot Sauce (preferably Ashanti brand), and McMenamins’ Spicy Dijon Mustard god help you if you fuck this up YOU WILL USE MCMENAMINS AND NO OTHER I am the expert on mustards and hot sauces and DON’T YOU DARE USE TABASCO, YOU TRAITOROUS PIECE OF SHIT

SPREAD THE MCMENAMINS ON THE RYE BREAD, AND PILE THE PASTRAMI ON THERE (NOTE: YOU SHOULD BE LIKE A LONELY WOMAN PILING COOKIE DOUGH ON TOP OF A GALLON OF ICE CREAM). NOW FINELY CHOP THE RED ONIONS AND SLICE THE JALAPENOS NICELY YEAH, THAT’S FUCKIN TITS NOW FRY THEM UP IN BUTTER AND LOUISIANA HOT SAUCE, GET IT NICE AND JUICY NOW AND CONTINUE UNTIL ALL THE LIQUID’S BEEN SUCKED UP UNLESS YOU USED WAY TOO MUCH AND IN THAT CASE YOU’RE A FUCKING DUMBASS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED NOW POUR THE ONIONS/JALAPENOS/REMNANT PAN JUICE OVER THE PASTRAMI

NOW PAIR THAT SHIT UP WITH A NICE (BUT NON-SYRUPY, THIS IS CRITICAL) BROWN ALE LIKE NEWCASTLE OR (PREFERABLY) KODIAK BROWN. BEER AND SANDWICHES!
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KILLERJACK ONION MADNESSFACE

Sourdough, Pepperjack cheese, Onions Rings, Sauerkraut, Green Bell Peppers, bratwurst, Tabasco (NOT Louisiana hot sauce, you need Tabasco’s extra vinegar kick AND IT’S THERE, YOU SKEPTICS. THERE’S A DIFFERENCE.) and German Mustard

I’M NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO MAKE ONION RINGS. IF YOU CAN COOK ANYTHING MORE COMPLICATED THAN SCRAMBLED EGGS THEN YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW HOW AND IF YOU DON’T YOUR FAMILY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOU. I’M ALSO NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO COOK A GOOD BRATWURST FOR THE SAME REASON, YOU DROOLING MORON. YEAH, YOU. MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY SOME POP TARTS INSTEAD, LAGASSE. ANYWAY YOU SLICE THE BRATWURST LONGWAYS AND YOU MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF ALL OF THAT AND IT’S A KILLERJACK ONION MADNESS FACE AND YOU DRINK IT WITH A GERMAN OR BELGIAN SUMMER BEER. BEER AND SANDWICHES!

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