I love myself and I get lots of chicks

[Johnny Horton]

And the chicks I get are pretty cool, smart, funny, and attractive. I used to just think they wanted me for my clean cut good looks and all my money, but even on Halloween, when I was wearing gore effects and driving a hearse, lots of chicks still seemed to want to hang out with me. Why is it? Perhaps it's because I'm so happy and always having a good time. Perhaps it's because I just really love women and that shows. They say it's because I'm so kind and generous and really thoughtful. I don't like to buy affection and I don't like shallow people, so I tend to meet a lot of women on the internet, where I connect with them on the basis of my winning personality. I do try to be thoughtful though and always send cards out for birthdays. It's a small thing, but hey, it's important to acknowledge chicks.






Because then they throw lots of pussy at me.