MAN PENIS VS SEX TOYS

[James]

Fuck you, women. Fuck you and your little plastic and/or rubber buddies.

See, my opinion is that women are spoiled by their little sex toys, and that a man can never sexually stimulate them like Dongzilla the Large Vibrating Meatstick can. Sure, an intimate relationship may stimulate mind, heart, and soul. But it can't make you spray girl cum across the room, require the aid of a wheelchair because your legs can't support you, and scream so loud your throat is sore the rest of the day.

And that's the most important thing, since love isn't real.

Women enjoy their little dildos on the end of a power drill, with the bumps and clit tickler, that fills them up like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Us guys simply can't provide that sort of functionality aside from getting cybernetics surgery and/or herpes (you know, for the bumps).

And you may think it's all equal, because we get our sex toys too. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU! I don't think any guy gets off more or easier with a rubber vagina with buttcheeks, or even ENJOYS a rubber vagina with buttcheeks. Blow up dolls? Ooh baby, give me some of that. A dick-sucking flashlight? Oh happy day! Fuck you. You get your fake cocks with authentic veins and purple heads the size of my arm to make you its bitch, and we have to have plastic feet to slide our dick between.

The thing is, we'd much rather have sex with a real woman, becuase it feels better than any other option. You damn womens, on the other hand, require the fucking penis attached to a jet engine to ultimately get yourself off the way you want.

So fuck you. You got it? Fuck you.