I'm up out this bitch!

[Protoclown]

I'm going on vacation for a week. Take care of this place while I'm gone, and try not to drip any piss on the carpet around the toilet because I'm not going to be around to clean it up. Oh, and I have some lunch meat in the fridge that's going to spoil in a few days, so please help yourself. In fact, if you DON'T help yourself, we may have another smelly incident. You know, like we had with the "tuna" and the "decomposing corpse" of that "child" we held for ransom who we never managed to get rid of and stuffed into the crawlspace.

Oh, and if my 'package' arrives (you know the one, in the plain brown wrapper...*wink wink nudge nudge*) try to keep it some place inconspicuous, and please don't open it. And for the love of GOD don't use it. The last thing I want to do is disinfect it right off the bat.

And with that, I'm off! Like a fart in the night!