show her this picture:
http://www.homestead.com/glowbelly/files/beat.jpg
that there's a mild beating.
i speak from experience when i say that you are just going to have to let this run it's course. it took me 5 years to realize that i deserved better for myself. blah dee blah blah.
and james? for your sake, man? GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. seriously. you are a smart young man with some fucked up ideas that are completely unfounded because you shun your peers. have some confidence in yourself. you'd be surprised what that will do for you socially.