Something I wrote a while back

[Protoclown]

Spad, your writing style is very easy to get into, it flows pretty well. This piece is simple and straightforward, almost conversational. I like that. Your descriptive metaphors are nicely done, and I like the obvious irony of the title.

I'm interested in learning more about this character...I think this piece would be stronger if you got more into his motivations and why he feels his life is so empty. Not necessarily in detail, in fact I would think that merely vaguely hinting at it would be the best approach. You've shown us how this character feels after the fact, but I'd like to see more of his attitude that leads him to it night after night. I understand that there's a sense of hopeless entrapment in the routine here, but I'd like to get into the character's head a little more. I'm not saying I think it needs a major overhaul, just a few more glimpses into this character.

Just my thoughts.