On second thought...

[Helm]

You wish. Obviously you're yet another on an endless stream of pseudo-gay people with something to prove to their mothers. No, you're not gay, no matter how you'd might like to think it would make great dinner table conversation. No, you're not shocking anyone by being yet another closet straight guy. And no, Chojin will not like you more if you tell him that you've kissed your male cousin once while he was sleeping. And stop smiling. You freak.


Seriously now, I know, I understand women are mean and their vaginas smell funny. Okay. The first time you kissed a girl she told you 'not to do that ever again'. Uh huh. Yes. Point taken.