I met a drunk girl tonight

[Perndog]

Yeah, everyone knows a girl who lets a (random but introduced by a friend) guy touch her ass while they're dancing must be a slut who has no decency or values, and is probably bound to be on the next sensational soft porn video. There's no way she could possibly have any redeeming qualities or could be any fun to be with while sober after a sin of that magnitude, and I should probably be scrubbing myself raw right now for having come into contact with her.

Chojin hit it on the head. Excuses.