Hi My name is fArtin, this is my you suck rant.

[Mad Melvin]

ok, well hows this for a joke? ahem...a guy walks into a bar. when bartender asks him what will it be, the guy says that he´ll only drink one shot of whiskey, because if he drinks too much and pukes on himself, his wife will divorce him. So he drinks his whiskey, but then he thinks that he could propably drink just one more. and one more after that. and one more after that. Finally the guy is so drunk, he pukes all over his shirt. The guy says to the bartender: "oh my goshh...whath am I goingh to do? my wife ish gonna divorce me now!" The bartender replys: "hey, dont worry man. just put 50 bucks in your jacket pocket and tell your wife that some drunken bastard threw up all over you and gave you the 50 bucks for laundry." The guy thinks thats a great idea and heads home. His wife is waiting at the front door and notices the puke on the guys shirt.
"I warned you! now im getting a divorce!"
"no, wait! I can explain! some guy at the bar threw up on me and gave me 50 bucks for laundry! look, heres the money!"
"OK, I guess I believe you...Hey wait a minute! theres a 100 bucks here!"
"Yeah, of course there is! Because the same bastard that threw up on my shirt, shat in my pants!"

Now thats hella funny!