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Generator86 · #51

So, where we stand right now is that Al and Bob and a small child are continuing their journeys with pockets heavy with candy. The furry Nazis or whatever have been vanquished, Superman is dead, Ol' Ass Jimmy was murdered by the sun (?), and the town pederast was beaten to a pulp. Oh, and briefly, crappy stars from crappy sitcoms made their appearance as well.

Moving right along.....Al and Bob dropped off The Child at the local orphanage run by nuns, who took The Child in and promptly converted It to Catholicism, where said Child spent the next three months in confession for sins The Child didn't even know It commited. Al and Bob looked at one another and said, "Another job well done, mate! Let's go work on our abs or something!" So off they went....

MaskedMonk · #52

...and worked on their abs for a few days, and ended up with the biggest strongest abs in the entire town. This pissed off Big Abs Johnson, who went to their house and told him that "there's only room for one guy with monstrously huge abs in this town" and went on to...

Lynchie · #53

punch each other in the stomach to see whose abs could take the most hits when all of a sudden.....

MaskedMonk · #54

THE ALIENS INVADED!

Sam · #55

Big Abs Johnson tried to defeat the aliens by greasing up his humongous abs and thrusting them in a some what questionable manner at the aliens, when the aliens pulled out a ....

Generator86 · #56

..Gigantic Ab Shrinking Gun, rendering everyone in the ab punching contest useless. With visions of world domination dancing around in their almond-shaped eyes....

MaskedMonk · #57

they realized that a side effect of the ab-shrinking gun was to give the people it was used on laser eyes...

Spectre X · #58

so they tried to shoot lasers from their eyes, but the ray gave them backward laser eyes, so they burned holes into their own heads and...

Skulhedface · #59

... realized it was all a dream.

However, Bob and Al decided that big pecs WERE the way to go. However, years of candy eating have left their various muscles in varying states of atrophy. Gathering that exercise would be a monumental overtaking, they broke open all their piggy banks, checked under all their mattresses, and emptied all their savings accounts to go get pectoral implants. Looking in the phone book, they picked out a surgeon at random and finally decided on the well known Dr. Doogie Howser, whose name appears here because this has become a "throw in some pop-culture reference, no matter how obscure" thread.

Heading to Dr. Howser's office, with a shine in their eyes and dreams of bigger pectoral muscles, they...

Spectre X · #60

were beamed up by aliens who then "gang probed" them, and...

MaskedMonk · #61

used advanced alien technology to make them super strong so that they could assist the aliens in battle against their sworn enemies, the...

shulaces88 · #62

george formanites. SO when bob and jill arived on plant george foreman with the aliens, they tested the new george foreman lean green grilling machine. And it was leaner and greaner than before. And George foreman declared "it is good and fat free". And upon that day, god declared "it is good and fat free" and he rested and ate the lean green chicken and bob and jill were ushered into the garden of eaten, were they grilled the snake, and it was lean and green. But then they ran out of food, so george foreman arrived, and they beat him up and grilled him. ANd he became lean and green. And god declared...

Spectre X · #63

"handjobs are fun for the entire family", and he lay down and...

Generator86 · #64

snorted a line of coke the size of the Great Wall of China, because he could.

Spectre X · #65

Then, he was so fucking high out of his mind, that he accidentally Zapped (tm) Al/Jilly, and Bob, so...

Skulhedface · #66

...they closed their eyes, shook their heads, counted to three, took their Prozac, and opened their eyes... LO AND BEHOLD! NOTHING! It had all been just a paranoid delusion!

But they still had wanted to get their snazzy pectoral implants. Upon going to Dr. Howser's office, he put them under the knife right away, when suddenly...

...Jilly started screaming like a little girl! Dr. Howser had forgotten to use anaestetic!

Storming out of the office with half a pec implant, Jilly decided it'd be best to go home and reflect on the day's events, telling Bob that he'd see him tomorrow.

As Jilly drifted to sleep...

...he shrieked again! You KNOW you cannot have major surgery without getting even so much as a stitch without it hurting like a BITCH when you lay on it!

His neighbors woke up, including the insane General Maximoff, who lived next door. Pulling out his insanely huge rocket launcher and spouting endless words of hate and Russian propaganda, he...

The Retro Kat · #67

...then sodomized all of them. Afterwards...

Spectre X · #68

the Universe collapsed, and everything was turned into a big, tiny, really small, pinpoint thingy. But suddenly...

Skulhedface · #69

Some big fat kid swallowed the tiny little ball and...

MaskedMonk · #70

the ball expanded back to the size of the universe, instantly killing the fat kid, and everything was as it was before, only Al had two full pec implants because...

Sam · #71

because when the universe first collapsed it pulled all the parralell (sp?) dimensions together, causing one left pectoral implant Al with the right implant to meet one pectoral implant Al with the left implant.. upon meeting they met Al with no pectoral implants, but who was a genius, who created the parallell (sp again?) universe combiner machine. They both stepped into it and were combined into 2 pectoral implant Al. But this concerned Al becase when the universe expanded back and the fat kid had been killed Al also had...

Rongi · #72

To stop this thread because it is very gay.

[center:102dfa8e3f]The End[/center:102dfa8e3f]

Skulhedface · #73

Moral of this story: Those pec implants were really silicone implants, and Jilly decided he should have a more fitting name. So he changed it to Rongi.

Thank you and goodnight from Masterpiece Theater.

shulaces88 · #74

BUt god declared that the story wasn't over, and it was so. And god did smiteth rongi for being a dipshit. And he suffered eternal damnation in hell with richard simons and jamesman....