thank you all for your concern and well wishes!!!!
after a lot of thought, and booze, and talking to people, i have decided that i actually could not be happier right now.
Nancy and i have a really good marriage and we have both been through enough that this is not the end of the world. also, i have kids that create such fun conversations as "if a monster lived off of boogers, what type of super powers would it have?"
i also have a nice pile of money to go pick up at my old job monday, and i had a dream that i was a secret agent and that the terrorists replaced one of my crack secret agents with a full sized Arab guy who spoke like i imagine Habib speaks that screamed "hey dudes, it is me the midget, please wait for me so that we can go arrest the terrorists" i started laughing and it woke me up. i was laughing so hard it woke Nancy up, and i fell asleep again tittering and trying to tell her all about the Arab not midget secret agent (not to mention how the original midget disappeared into his feces bag??)
anyhow, i think i am going to be OK, i just may have to start posting here more at night than during the day, cause i am going to take a more blue collar job or go back into retail, cause at least that way i can openly hate people and make jokes all day
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