Features

James · #1

It's bad enough I'm not even tired until 4am. But then, I end up having dreams, which apparently make me so exhausted I sleep 11-12 hours. (Oh, and I will be sharing all too much here, so stop reading if you are disgusted by the thought of my genitals).

Last night was a lovely tale of me meeting a girl, and we'd have sex in swimming pools located around the block (total amount of sex: once, if that). Then the next time, my dad showed up for a swim, so I got pissed off at him, and ripped the pool apart due to my sexual frustration.

Then, I was in some sort of mini-mall/banquet hall, where you went into this room that looked like the kind of room you're in at funerals. Then you grab a piece of paper. If there's a red line on it, you lost. If it's black, you have a chance to become a ninja... Through the Girl Scouts. Both me and my friend (who is not even my friend anymore. I last saw him in 8th grade). If you're a boy, you have to take a multiple-choice quiz right then and there, and you only have 5-7 minutes to complete it (which I didn't, because none of the choices reflected my feelings). But if you're a girl, you get to take the quiz home and finish it whenever you feel like.

Then me and the girl who I'd been humping in pools, and someone else who I THINK was a girl who I also last saw in 8th grade, went to go take something out to some old lady's car for her, and we put it in the wrong car.

The End

Ah well, at least it wasn't yet another zombie dream.

Captain Robo · #2

Don't even get me started about zombie dreams

Skulhedface · #3

Glad to know I'm not the only person in this world with bizarre dreams.

slavemason · #4

By my calculations you slept the whole time I was at work. Now we both feel like hell, but at least you had sex (even if it was dream sex, which can often be as rwarding). You won :/

CaptainBubba · #5

What is it with pools and sex in dreams? Every one of my sex dreams at least starts in a pool, if it doesn't take place entirely in it that is.

I want a pool.

O yeah, and a girlfriend.

Malevolent · #6

Do you always find yourself in the shallow end? In that case, it represents the gene pool.

Johnny Horton · #7

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malevolent

Do you always find yourself in the shallow end? In that case, it represents the gene pool.

I honestly hope that Malevolent and Jerry Seinfeld are never locked in a room together. The sheer amount of comedic genius trapped in such a small space would undoubtedly cause the universe to implode.

Rongi · #8

You're the worst character ever.

Johnny Horton · #9

I'm not a character.

CaptainBubba · #10

Is Carnivore/Malevolent a REALLY elaborate character or something? I can't imagine a real person browsing forums just for the opportunity to attack people hes never even met.

It wouldn't be odd considering this is a forum for mockery, but they aren't even good attacks. They sound like something from "You can be a super cool guy too: big book of insults". :/

James · #11

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainBubba

Is Carnivore/Malevolent a REALLY elaborate character or something? I can't imagine a real person browsing forums just for the opportunity to attack people hes never even met.

*runs off crying*

Seriously, both Bubba and Carni are cool. Hopefully, the two of them will learn to love each other.

The Retro Kat · #12

In due time.

Man, I had the worst dream ever. It was useless. It was me lying next to my bed on the floor and I found a fine toothed comb. I was pissed. That was a horrible dream, and I didn't even have one naked female in there (in my adolescent age, I have a lot of those sub consiously incorporated in my dreams).

Carnivore · #13

I don't browse these forums looking for posters to attack. I do my best to ignore the crappy posters. But sometimes I just get pissed when my efforts to find a worthwhile thread in which to post are complicated by the sheer number of retarded threads and then I'll take a shot or three.

I'm going to end there for Jamesman's sake. I don't want to make him cry again.

Captain Robo · #14

Fuck, I had this really freaky-shit dream...

There was a huge empty theater... it was ruined... and some spelunkers (thats what I think they were) dropped through the roof, came down on a line and started to explore the theater. All of a sudden there was this loud shriek, and this thing, which looked like a rotting human carcass with flames coming out of its eye sockets comes running down towards the stage, where the spelunkers were. It had a blade like a knife, but with another knife coming out of the side of the blade at a 90 degree angle. It ran at the spelunkers, who were terrifyed, and killed them all; decapitating some and mutilating others. I had a great 3rd person view to all of this gore

and then I woke up...

I was so scared, I stayed up the whole night.

That was the worst nightmare I ever had.

James · #15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carnivore

I'm going to end there for Jamesman's sake. I don't want to make him cry again.

Yeah, that's right!

Ninjavenom · #16

That's an awesome nightmare.

kellychaos · #17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carnivore

But sometimes I just get pissed when my efforts to find a worthwhile thread in which to post are complicated by the sheer number of retarded threads and then I'll take a shot or three.

Well ... shit ... now that you put it that way, I feel honored.

Skulhedface · #18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Horton

I'm not a character.

Johnny Cash would've been better.

Matt Harty · #19

Quote:

Originally Posted by kellychaos

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carnivore

But sometimes I just get pissed when my efforts to find a worthwhile thread in which to post are complicated by the sheer number of retarded threads and then I'll take a shot or three.

Well ... shit ... now that you put it that way, I feel honored.

You must really love yourself