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AChimp · #1

Crap.

The action sequences were good, though, but the movie should have been done without any talking.

James · #2

You just didn't GET IT, man.

But seriously, I've heard some pretty bad things about it. I didn't know that the director was the guy who did The Mummy Returns. Had I known that from the start, I wouldn't have taken any interest in this movie at all. And I heard the special effects were fucking horrible. One review mentioned that wires for stunts were visible in some scenes, too.

Shostie · #3

Haven't seen it, but I immediately lost interest when the trailers identified Frankenstein's monster as Frankenstein.

GADZOOKS · #4

It was funny when he turned out to be a vmapire at the end.

"I PUT THE HELL IN HELSING"

Ninjavenom · #5

Kate Beckinsale is going to ruin this movie. :-/

Emu · #6

Gadzooks already ruined it.

GADZOOKS · #7

If you mean ruined, you really mean "SAVED YOU 8 to 10 bucks on some stupid movie and a extra 10 for THE EXTRA LARGE TUB OF POPCORN YOU WILL GET COVERED IN BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE SAUSE, YOU FAT BASTARD"

executioneer · #8

oh NO, now i will NEVER be able to enjoy this movie

DamnthatDavid · #9

I just watched it, it was... indeed... crap.

But they did call in Frankenstien's Monster in the movie.
But really, if you looked past the unbelievable damage the main charachters recive and then brush off, the annoying monk... excuse me, friar, the lesbian sex scene between the 3 vampire women, and all the acting. Well, then the movie is very, very good.

I would place this gem in the exaulted class, which contains such masterpieces as;
]Cabin Fever, all Wayne's Brother Movies, the Castle of Fu-Manchu, the new Star Wars movies, and House of the Dead.

Mockery · #10

Hah, awesome. Glad I didn't go waste my money on this one last night. Proto was getting a big group o' people together for it. :P

bigtimecow · #11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shostie

Haven't seen it, but I immediately lost interest when the trailers identified Frankenstein's monster as Frankenstein.

i hate the fact that frankenstein was a monster / enemy.
does anyone remember frankenstien being a bad guy in his movies?

Krythor · #12

It was a movie with a vampire, a werewolf and Frankenstein's monster, of course it was going to be crap. I can't believe how many dumbies believed otherwise.

And David needs to throw himself down a well or something; Cabin Fever was great.

sports · #13

Your right Krythor, Cabin Fever was great.

Van Helsing has...a 3-way lesiban sex scene...my little bro may not be able to go see it, IF...i go to it today. I ain't expecting much, 170M budget and special effects are that great.

BTW, I thought the guy who made this flick, directed both Mummy films, not just the 2nd one.

Cap'n Crunch · #14

My brother saw it with his friends and said it was good. He also rented House of the Dead when he came back, so that tells you something.

Immortal Goat · #15

I'm still gonna see it and I don't think I'm going to be disapointed by the outcome. I never thought it would be scary or even very good, I just think it will be a good distraction for a while. :/

Shostie · #16

Quote:

the lesbian sex scene between the 3 vampire women

I never got around to reading Bram Stoker's Dracula, but didn't he have a trio of highly sensuous vampire chicks around?

Quote:

i hate the fact that frankenstein was a monster / enemy.
does anyone remember frankenstien being a bad guy in his movies?

Not really so much a bad guy as a hapless victim of circumstance, created by an genius who also happens to be an idiot.

MrAdventure · #17

Did anyone else notice that they're selling the classic monster movies with a sticker proclaiming that they're the movies that inspired Van Helsing?

DamnthatDavid · #18

I was inspired to take a shit after eating some food. Thanks Food!

Cabin Fever... It never explained where the disease came from, never explained how it was originally passed on, never explained why the dog was crazy and ate the girls face off, never explained anything.
No, but you are right, it was a fucking masterpiece.

That movie didn't even provided a decent MST3K commentary.
We tried... It was like making fun of a retard.

the_dudefather · #19

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigtimecow

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shostie

Haven't seen it, but I immediately lost interest when the trailers identified Frankenstein's monster as Frankenstein.

i hate the fact that frankenstein was a monster / enemy.
does anyone remember frankenstien being a bad guy in his movies?

he wasnt a bad guy in van helsing

Zomboid · #20

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamnthatDavid

Cabin Fever... It never explained where the disease came from, never explained how it was originally passed on, never explained why the dog was crazy and ate the girls face off, never explained anything.
No, but you are right, it was a fucking masterpiece.

Am I the only one that can't just take a funny, gory popcorn movie for what it is without demanding to know everything? Did you bitch when they didn't explain how the "virus" started in dawn of the dead too?

Comrade Rocket · #21

Frankenstines Monster actually became very smart and humanistic. He didnt want to hurt anyone, and the only reason he killed the little girl in the begining of the book was because he had a childs mind in a adult body.

EDIT: im not talking about Hellsing

JeefGyle · #22

I think Cabin Fever was probably the worst movie I have ever seen. Disregarding the lack of information about the virus, it just seemed like a movie that was supposed to be scary, and then was revised into a semi-comedy that wasn't funny.