OI! That's the most useless cunt I've ever come across!
Nice job on the three paragraph essay format comeback that no one gives a fuck about reading. I'll tell you what I like about it, though...fuck, I didn't give a shit enough to read it. SRY BETTR LUCK NEXT TYME!
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Gas and masturbation are highly unlikely to be connected with each other. Have you tried to stop masturbating? Has the gas subsided as a result? Perhaps you could try the same experiment by increasing the times you masturbate daily. Do you notice that the gas is increasing?