Apr 27th, 2006, 02:39 AM
Reminisce about I-Mockery!
Okay guys I always like to remember the past and look to the future, but this thread is ALL ABOUT that first part. All you neophytes can look to our collective experience for inspiration! Let's see...
October 2000: I had just registered after buying a Booberry t-shirt, and I felt so connected that I called my girlfriend when Rog was on The Daily Show telling her to watch and she was all like WTF, probably contributing to the premature ending of that relationship.
December 2000: I first begin my polemic career as a Mocker by assuming the role as a hard-ass Catholic. I'm quite convinced that CLA Spinster (theapportioner) is a lesbian and Glowbelly remarks that "If your (my) mind were any more narrow I'd (she) floss with it". A critical step in my adolescent development.
January 2001: AChimp's waxing presence pisses me off to no end for no real reason. I still play it low-key, rarely venturing out of the Philosophy boards.
March 2001 (approximately): Public speculation posits me as the secret identity of the elusive Mr. Impostery. I take this to mean that I belong.
April 2001: The crest of the Era of Yahoo! Voicemail. While on spring break in Florida I compulsively dial a 1-800 number to hear the voices of Swamper, Yammy, Miss Emma, and probably other fine womens. It was through this outlet that Agent Burdock confirmed my existence, then mysteriously disappeared.
May 2001: Instead of going to Junior Year Prom, I participate in I-Mockery's first (and probably only) Drunk Night! Except I wasn't drunk, just displacing my fear of girls onto the internet. I still managed to be scandalized by a particular female poster that night!
June 2001: Once I hit post 256, I decided I need to take a break from active participation for a while. Don't question my logic.
11 September 2001: When the greatest collective "WTF?!" ever happens to the internet Volksgeist, Habib Walters is suddenly VERY unpopular! When defending myself against cries of un-Americanism for not demanding that the Middle East be turned into glass, Kevintheherbivore (Oh yes, there once was such a time) honors me with a place in his signature for one of my thoughtless aphorisms.
May 2002: I post pictures of my braids for prom and a mastadonian afro with Bishop Higi at my Confirmation. Females everywhere go crazy.
20 June 2002: When KFC gives away free chicken fingers, I-Mockery goes wild!
July-August 2002: After establishing myself as a virulent anti-Semite in the philosophy boards, Kakha makes a parody of me! From then onwards the teeming millions must be careful to distinguish Winston Smith, bastion of sophomorism and hater of Jews everywhere, with Winston A Smith, a babbling moron who could never keep track of which account he was using, leading to some very schizoid posting habits.
Soon thereafter I have my first mocker-to-mocker phone call with the lovely and talented Hugh Bristic. As fate would have it, she's not as manly as the name implies.
November-December 2002: I discover that sleeping with strange girls can be messy business, and the I-Mockery community laughs in unison!
At some point in the first quarter of 2003, the switch to the new boards is made. I decide that it's a sign from God that I shouldn't re-register and instead focus on my grades. Still, I come to this website for passive learning on what's going on in the Iraqi build-up to war. I guess I thought cnn.com was too inefficient or something.
Late March 2003: Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated. When they let me out of the looney bin, I make a triumphant return because I have jack shit to do with my life at that point.
August 2003: Reports of my amazing vehicular acrobatics astound everyone with my survival!
December 2003: Not entirely convinced that I'm immortal at this point, I swallow a bottle of aspirin and go on a sarcastic posting spree. Doopa is not happy and I get my first banning warning.
Until February 2005, I was busy living the good life to do much besides create a character and then I had a little story to tell about a philosophical experiment of mine. Loose lips sink ships! Back to the psychiatric ward with me! Coming out weeks later I was entertained by a particular hairy-assed Greek insinuating the whole thing was a hoax. If only, dude!
In the time since then, the majority of the assholes who are going to read this post signed up, making the past year a period of abounding tedium.
Thank you for this path down memory lane, feel free to post your own I-Memories!
|
I don't get it. I mean, why did they fuck with the formula? Where are the car songs? There's only one song about surfing and it's a downer!
Linear Mode
