I was on the road for my Birthday

[Mockery]

You know Max, they say that the fingers are the first thing to go, followed by the mind, and then finally... bladder control. While the bladder issue probably won't effect you as you're already used to it, the other two things will probably have a serious effect on your writing. Don't worry though, I've got a great I-Mockery severance package worked up for you. I'll even through in a few adult diaper coupons to help cushion you in your journey to the golden years. You know why they call it "the golden years" right? Yep... it's all about the urine.

Happy Birthday.