Features

zeldasbiggestfan · #1

Seeing as this has to do with my dick I thought it should be in loveline. If Im wrong then sue me. But here goes

So Im behind G building at school with my friends doing some extreme walking. My friend Corey comes by and Im gonna mess with him. I tell him to come here and he does. I squirrel tap him to say hello. At this point for me I moved in a really wierd position so I got my pubes stuck in my zipper. Corey didnt like getting hit in the nuts and responds with a "Hey Austin!" and kicks my cock. MY HAIR IS RIPPED OUT. I scream because it hurts so fucking bad. The bell rings and I go to my classes. I ignore the pain and it eventually goes away. Fast forward to this morning. I roll over to my stomach after I wake up and flich with pain. Im thinkin "what the fuck??". I undo my boxers look down and notice I was wrong about yesterday. It wasnt hair... It was SKIN. I now have a cut on my cock. Now I walk funnier than I did before. Holy shit ow. Its painful if I shift the wrong way. Its been like this all day. Great. Hopw you guys are laughing at me now

Juttin · #2

Split-dick

MetalMilitia · #3

You could try some of that spray on bandage stuff.

zeldasbiggestfan · #4

Ill try to get some. I think "Cut cock" should be my title under my screenname.

MetalMilitia · #5

YOU DONT GET ONE

PS I have no idea what spray on bandage is actually for. It just seemed like a better idea than a regular bandage.

sadie · #6

negative attention is better than none at all, eh, zelda?

Juttin · #7

HELP GUYS

I BROKE MY PENIS

Gurlugon · #8

I've had a huge rip on the head of my dong from getting too much soap on it in the past. Hurt like hell and bled like crazy. Even with stopping jerking off, it would open from my boxers chafing. It was unpleasant, all in all.

zeldasbiggestfan · #9

Fuck you fatty. Its only slightly cut and it still works. I cant have sex or get head though so that sucks. And least I can find my wang without having to suck in and move my belly (You deserved every fucking bit of that so dont get all bitchy you touchy prick).

Juttin · #10

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan

It only slightly works and it's still cut

FIXED

Gurlugon · #11

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan

I cant have sex or get head though so that sucks.

In case it just comes along right like it always does, haha oh man sukcs to be u

MetalMilitia · #12

Quote:

I cant have sex or get head though so that sucks.

Explain to me why this would be a problem for a chubby 14 year old?

Juttin · #13

He cannot find the girl for the sexing time

zeldasbiggestfan · #14

I have a girlfriend whos easy. Good and bad. She sucks and fucks alot but I dont know how many other people shes done it with

Juttin · #15

Easy WHAT? Easily amused?
You know, it's illegal to fuck the retarded ones. Rape, apparently

zeldasbiggestfan · #16

God damnit Juttin shut the fuck up. Your always fucking talking and you think your hot shit because you respond to everything. Your really just cold diarrhea

Gurlugon · #17

Y dont u put ur hemorrhaging rod in sum preteen zelda, u can od it

The fluids will be restorative.

zeldasbiggestfan · #18

Do you have ANY idea how PAINFUL that is?? Its like sticking you dick in boiling water.

MetalMilitia · #19

Zeldasbiggestfan sounds like a virgin who has read one too many porn sites.

A girlfriend that's 'easy'? Well I wouldn't expect it to be especially difficult to have sex with her if she actually is your girlfriend.