Don't know if I'm still considered a newb, but I'm 26. I'm also usually drunk, so I suppose it's not really relevant.
You're right, that has no relevence whatsoever. Hell, you shouldn't have even posted that. Oh you silly drunk.
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Gas and masturbation are highly unlikely to be connected with each other. Have you tried to stop masturbating? Has the gas subsided as a result? Perhaps you could try the same experiment by increasing the times you masturbate daily. Do you notice that the gas is increasing?
Hybrid Mode
