Tales from the Longbox #22: "One More Day"!

[MockBot]

Automatically generated comment thread for Tales from the Longbox #22: "One More Day"!.

[Hugh Jerection]

is it ok to use this comment to say a big "suck my sweaty testes" to Joey "the nut-puncher" Quesada?
i had the misfortune to read one more day at the weekend. :-(

why did he feel the need to take a character who was FINALLY getting intersting again and completely fuck him up and make him unreadable?

methinks JQ may be on the take from DC.

what an asshole!

[Pihlak101]

Sounds like the new spiderman will just be one big cluster-fuck of ball kicking.

[Mac Brookman]

So Pete is on his way to become the new Marvel "40 Year Old Virgin" then?

[thecatillaccat]

Spider-Man is my favorite. He always was. I like him more than Batman even. I haven't been a huge collector of comics...but Spidey just always seemed the ultimate hero to me. Smart, witty, strong enough to take on 6 supervillains at once. I'm glad I don't collect. I'll stick with my 10 issues of coolness. Bad storytelling is one thing - Joey "Crotch Cricket" Quesada is on a power trip. Bah.

[incognit000]

This is so bad I got bored reading your summary. I mean, even with you cutting out 99% of the crap, and riffing on the book the whole way, I kept thinking "there's gotta be better things do to."

Why can't they let YOU write comics? You seem to know more about Spiderman than the people writing his current books. And you seem to know more about what does and does not suck.

[BakaGaijin]

I caught a "Venture Bros" reference and a "Red Meat" reference in there... Proto, you need to join fat Peter and I on the bench (yes, that dude looks and acts likes me, goddamnit). I have a nice warm copy of "The Fountianhead" waiting for you.

PS - Four blowjob jokes pushes the FCC envelope. They only allow 3 per article. Be careful or they'll be on you like stink on "The Asylum" (http://www.theasylum.cc/).

[Dr. Boogie]

I'm not much of a comic book fan myself, but I love reading these longbox pieces because when something totally ridiculous comes up, I know I'm not the only one wondering "what the hell?"

[Sleazeappeal]

Does anyone else notice a more-than-passing resemblance between "Tubby" Parker and Mephistjoe Quesada himself?

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

WOW, what a ridiculous way to undo 20 years of continuity.

This story couldn't be stupider if it had Elvis and Unicorns.

[mburbank]

Proto, that was an excellent review. Not only did you spare me reading this, I got to find out what happened in an entirely enjoyable format. Two thing no superhero comic writers have been able to do: Marriage and kids. This leaves Superman the only married vigilante in tights, besides Mr and Mrs Fantastic and their amazing non aging offspring.

[Mintrude]

Yay! more Longbox!

But seriously, What a ridiculous idea for a storyline.

[El Blanco]

Why can't they just let people die? Deaths and other big events mean nothing now, because some magician will just wave his magic wand, or some alien will bend reality, or some ass monkey will go back in time, and set everything "right".

Aunt May, Colossus, Jean Grey, and plenty of others either had really great deaths or would make other characters better by staying the fuck dead.

[RaNkeri]

The imagery in this panel shoots this up to the next level from angsty teen poem to douchebag college student's "deep" art film.

This nearly destroyed my laptop.

[kateness87]

I don't even read comics, but I read "Tales from the longbox" regularly because you, good sir, are hilarious. :D

Still, good lord, even I can see this story arc's stupid. Poor Spidey, what did he do to deserve that?

[aj2217]

Tales from the Longbox ftw! <3333

[Xystus]

I have been an i-mockery reader for quite a while, but finally decided to register to comment on this piece. This whole arc was just SO bad there are also rumors about mary jane gaining probability altering powers now and going by the name of "Jackpot".

Actually I was going to register to request a 'tales of the longbox' on this arc because it is just steaming every marvel reader out there and it is simply horrible, but alas, protclown delivers!

[Undead Overlord]

I really like these summaries, they remind me what comic editors and staff can do to a great character. I may not read many comics, but I can tell when something is a total waste of paper and ink.

I really believe if editors want a new story line, they should branch off from an earlier point and make thier own saga. These sagas should be named after the writers. So if they are like the one above, we can look at the writer's name and see if it is going to be good or not. That way we can all avoid bad comics like these by boycotting bad comic writers.

[Metal Misfit]

Great article. I didn't read this story myself (I dropped ASM once 'Back in Black' was over because the Mephisto Fix was rumored looooong before the issue came out), but it is truly silly and Joe's comments since the release of the story reek of "This is for my own personal enjoyment, okay? Who cares what the readers want and like?" Not to mention the infamous "It's magic, we don't have to explain it" line now.

I truly hope Brand New Day fails (sadly, I'm sure it'll initially have great sales thanks to shock and controversy) because maybe we can finally get The Q outta office. He's done some good things as EiC, but he's also done some very stupid things to overshadow all the positives he's brought (Sins Past--which was fully endorsed by Joe and it was he who actually made Norman the father, no more smoking, etc...).

And yeah, MJ's whispering to Mephisto is such an escape plan for when this blows up in their face (not that it hasn't already).

[BoMToons]

Sheesh, I read Spiderman back in the day, and to see the terribly thrown together slant the comic has taken now doesn't make me want to pick it up again.

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Here's my impression of Joe Quesada:

"Hi, I'm Joe Quesada. There's a few things that always bothered me about the Marvel Universe.

It's always bothered me that Wolverine is a man instead of a two-headed woman that breathes fire, so I'll have to change that.

Also, I hate that Frank Castle is still the Punisher, lets kill him off and make Aunt May the new Punisher.
And, just for kicks, let's make Spider-man and Howard the Duck gay lovers!

Ha, ha, ha. This is fun!"

Sorry, had to post that.

[Nick]

I had no idea this was going on, and after reading it I wish I never did.

[Spruce Moose]

I'm a loose Spider-Man fan, hardly ever picked up a book, I'm mostly bred on the cartoon form the 90s...

And even I feel like I was just kicked in the nuts. I keep toying with getting into comics, I really do. I read parts of the storylines and such on the Internet every so often. I loved all the cartoon versions in the 90s. I loved the Sin City books after the movie spurred me into checking them out I even have nice little local comic book shops to get them from now. But all I see is a wasteland before me.

I'm not spending my money on this medium until people I trust prove to me it's worth it. I heard about this before I ever read the this article, and I tell ya: things like this are holding me back. Do you hear me Quesada? You are pushing new readers away. You are pushing new readers away. I have cash money you'll never get because of your batshit crazy vision. I bet I'm not the only one.

[hobbsend]

Dear god in heaven, not again. What is it with Marvel? When did they decide to go from story lines that just effected one character, to things like "Dear god Emma Frost sneezed, the astral plane has slipped, and everyone is now a mutant frog!" World changing events were all fine and dandy when they'd come along once and a while, but every few months something new and earth shattering is insane. I'd love to see for something like a new race of aliens come to Earth, just to smack the Earth heros and villans, for effing up reality on such a consistant basis. You know somewhere along the line, someone has to be getting pretty tired of this crap (other then the readers). I liked the off shoot and one off comics, like the retelling of various legends using Marvel characters (Momotaro and the X-Men was particularly good).From the early 80's on I've been into comics, but god's above Marvel, your making it hard! I survived the 90's comic era! You should treat me better dang it!

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Spruce Moose:
You just need to differentiate between the comics worth reading and the ones that aren't. Every medium (comics, movies, etc.) has good and bad series, and not everyone's taste is the same.

Personally, I think "Sin City" was a pretty good start. I would like to recommend anything by Jhonen Vasquez. I also think (since you like Sin City) that the manga "Ice Blade" would be your cup of tea. Also, DC's Batman/Superman title has been pretty good lately.