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Senior Member
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Gainesville, Florida
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Jan 22nd, 2004, 10:34 PM
Can I get someone's opinion on this?
Just finished reading a complete history of MAD Magazine, which was written by one of the artists, Dick DeBartolo. It has some bonus material not printed in the magazine, and I thought I'd share some with you. It was a realistic journal of a drug trip written by Dick. He WAS high, he says, while writing it, having just consumed two Pepperidge Farm mocha cakes and a package of Oreo's thus getting the ol' sugar buzz. Here is the journal:
9:00 - I enter the offices of MAD Magazine and I am given L.S.D. on a sugar cube which I put into my coffee and drink.
9:06 - My stomach gurgles and my throat tightens. I never use sugar in my coffee!
9:18 - A blood-curdling scream pierces the air. I hear humanity crying out in anguish...suffering pain...intense pain!
Is it my first HALLUCINATION?
9:20 - NO!! It is the Publisher of MAD - Bill Gaines - writing a check! It is the same sound I hear every payday!
9:35 - I AM BEGINNING TO THINK THE DRUG WILL HAVE NO EFFECT WHATSOEVERY! HERE IT IS - THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES AFTER GOOBLING, AND NOTHING IS FURNING!
9:53 - THE PUBLICHER OF MAD, ADOLPH HITLER, ENTERS THE ROOM AND ASKS ME IF I AM K.O.? I TELL HIM I'M RASPBERRIES! ON THE WAY OUT, SHE STABS MY TEDDY BEAR! ON PURPOSE!! ON PORPOISE!! SOMETHING IS FISHY!!!
9:76 - STILL NO EFFECK! MY SKIN IS ON TOO TIGHT! LOUSY TAILOR! LOUSY BURTON! I RIP EVERYTHING OFF!!
10:10:10 THE TORTISE IS RACING THE HAIR UNDER MY ARMS! IT'S AN ARMS RACE!!!
10:369 HEY! TURN OFF THOSE FLASHING BRIGHT LICE!
1492 I STILL FEEL FINE
LOVE ***** UZE *YOUR* ZIPPER* CODE!
CURB*** YER KAR!
112:30 THE PLUBISHER OF MUD, HUGH HEFFER, TAPS ME ON THE BROCCOLI -
90:76 I MAKE OUT SHAPES IN THE ROOM A DESK - A LAMP - A STAGECOACH - A PHUNG
1:15 - PEOPLE ARE STAIRING AT ME! I'M A STAIR-CASE! I TRY TO EXPLAIN THAT SOME FUNNY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED TO MY. BUT IT'S NO.
1:30 - EVERYTHING IS BECOMING EXTREMELY CLEAR! BUT IS IT REALITY? DO I REALLY LIVE? OR DO I JUST EXIST IN A CHINGE OF MY BLUK?
1:45 - WHAT IS NOT? AND WHY, IF WE, DO WE? OF COURSE!
2:00 - A blood-curdling scream pierces the air. I hear humanity crying out in anguish...suffering pain...intense pain!
IS IT AN HALLUCINATION AT LAST??
2:03 - NO!! It is the Publisher of MAD - Bill Gaines - writing another check!
2:05 - Everything is back to normal.
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Rogues against Warriors in Battle Stance are like eggs hurling themselves against a brick wall.
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