I love russian editorials.

[Dimnos]

Ivanov applied to the Communist Party. The party committee conducts an interview.
"Comrade Ivanov, do you smoke?"
"Yes, I do a little."
"Do you know that comrade Lenin did not smoke and advised other communists not to smoke?"
"If comrade Lenin said so, I shall cease smoking."
"Do you drink?"
"Yes, a little."
"Comrade Lenin strongly condemned drunkenness."
"Then I shall cease drinking."
"Comrade Ivanov, what about women?"
"A little...."
"Do you know that comrade Lenin strongly condemned amoral behavior?"
"If comrade Lenin condemned, I shall not love them any longer."
"Comrade Ivanov, will you be ready to sacrifice your life for the Party?"
"Of course. Who needs such life?"