have you considered

[Bod]

So at some point in your life, being a guy means someone sticks fingers up your arse. Whoopy.

Women from an early age have to have clamps stuck up their vags then be scraped out. It is vile. One time I got so tense the nurse couldn't pull the clamp back out. She had both hands on it yanking away telling me to relax! She then pottered around the surgery until I finally decided to relax.

The last time the nurse couldn't find my cervix which I find very bizarre. It was 'hiding' apparently. I was told to cough! Three clamps later and I was told it was to the left and at an odd angle.

I'm so grateful they are made out of plastic these days. I remember when evil nurse shoved cold metal ones up you and I'd be grateful when the nice ones warmed them up with hot water. Then after shoving it in and opening up, they then screw some mechanism, I've no idea what, I've never been in the position to see.

YOU MEN, you don't know you're born