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i was very honest and told them how much i drink and all the drugs i did on tour while i was pregnant before i knew and he still won't help me.
he WANTS me to have a retard child.
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Did you really think that the doctor wasn't going to see right through this half assed lie? You told him you had a legitimate concern for the child but he obviously knew its because you don't want to take responsibility for your actions.
You can say the doctor is pro life but the real reason he won't help you is that he saw you as just a spoiled brat little kid who wants to take the path of least resistance.
Since your going to do it no matter what let me give you a few pointers:
1) Don't ever do the math to figure out what the birthday would have been.
2) Don't think about what life would be like if you had the child. Especially don't do it a few times per hour everyday for the rest of your life.
3) Don't ever look at another child (see number 2).
4) Don't ever tell people about this because no matter what they say on the surface about how you did the right thing, in the back of their minds they will think much less of you for not giving it up for adoption instead of killing it
5) Don't ever change your mind about having kids 20 years from now. Your not planning on becoming more mature are you? This one should be easy because people rarely change their minds about decisions they made when they were kids.
Your probably right though, if a child cant grow up under ideal conditions it shouldnt grow up at all. I mean it was an accident, not like when you were born. I'm sure your parents were fully prepared and overjoyed about that.
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