Oh, the first picture. Okay, it's really nicely drawn but you have two problems.
The transition effect between the book scene and the unicorn scene just isn't enough, and the two are fighting each other rather than working as a single composition. I don't have a scanner anymore, so if you're going to have to put up with some MS Paint bullshit rather than an original sketch.
The unicorn scene is pretty much the focus, while everything in what I assume is the "real" or present scene is background action. But, like I said, the two fight each other. IF,
if, you would want to do another draft of the picture, I would recommend squashing the bottom scene, giving it high light/dark contrast with a limited color pallet and muted highlights so that the unicorn scene could stand out better. I would angle the old man's head to the right and have him face slightly left, have the characters closer together to emphasize crowding and hunch them over. Then I would recommend give the transition effects more prominence. Shitty MS Paint splash sketch:
Hybrid Mode
