Stupid Injuries

[Kitsa]

I was trying to figure that one out myself.

One time when I was in high school I was rushing down a slanted boardwalk in the rain, which by all counts is a really bad idea. My feet flew out from under me and I landed on my thigh. I had a giant bruise from my thigh to my hip and walked with a limp for a while.

That happened about ten feet from a spot where I was mowing the yard for my parents and happened upon a nest of yellowjackets, who flew up my pantlegs and stung/bit the almighty hell out of me. I still have big divots on my legs where they bit chunks out of me. The burning wasn't as bad as the hellacious itching.

Another time, when we lived in a house that had well water that was particularly iron-ridden and gross, my mother cleaned the house in preparation for my having a friend over. My mom was going through this phase where she cleaned all hard-water stains with lemon oil (must be hereditary...her dad used to armor-all the seats of go-karts and the kids would go flying off them on sharp turns). Anyway, I didn't know she'd done the dark-brown shower stall and didn't think anything of it being so shiny...place always reeked of lemon anyway. Again, my feet flew out from under me and I somehow sprained my ankle so badly my leg was black from the knee down and I had to wear a cast the entire last month of eighth grade.

In retrospect, I'm glad it was me that got injured and not the girl sleeping over...that would have been a lawsuit for sure.