HEADLINE NEWS

[Pentegarn]

Come on Irene! (I know it's supposed to be Eileen but work with me here)

[Colonel Flagg]

Yeah, it's not like we don't need another 10 inches of rain or anything.

Feast or famine, choose your poison.

[Shyandquietguy]

Lighter side of the news!

BULL SEMEN CLOSES INTERSTATE!!

http://www.wkrn.com/story/15313584/ramp-to-i-65s-closed

Appearantly Greyhound ships them since they can't be flown. In a seperate compartment from the passengers.

[Pentegarn]

That semen came from good ol' Columbus Ohio

[Colonel Flagg]

And it was worth about $80,000. That's a lot of jack.

[Pentegarn]

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg

And it was worth about $80,000. That's a lot of jack.

Delightful sir!

[Colonel Flagg]

What a way to go.

From the article:

A 66-year-old Swedish man died in an accident at a paper factory in western Sweden after falling into a cistern filled with hot lye late Tuesday night.

“He basically fell through the roof of the silo,” Ulf Maxén manager of the Munksjö Paper factory in Billingsfors where the accident took place, told The Local.

“The liquid was corrosive and was heated to somewhere between 70 and 80 degrees Celsius.”

Note on chemistry: (of course. ) This is the part of the bleaching process of papermaking where the whitening chemicals (highly acidic) get extracted/neutralized by highly alkaline chemicals, typically oxygenated sodium hydroxide. In other words, he was dumped in a 170F concentrated aqueous solution of Drano.

[executioneer]

i hope he died quickly, cause that sounds like it would hurt like a motherfucker.

[Colonel Flagg]

Generally, paper industry accidents are pretty much fatal and pretty quick. Smelt explosions, dryer explosions, and chipper, beater or hydrapulper accidents can all kill you very quickly. Pain is irrelevant.

[Zhukov]

PAIN IS IRRELEVANT

GLORY IS ETERNAL

[Colonel Flagg]

Spoken like a true Klingon.

[Kitsa]

I remember when I worked in an ER outside Chicago, we had these retired physicians affiliated with us who were the doctors for the area steel mills. And when something happened, I was the one who processed the reports. It was always the goriest, most horrific stuff. Like something out of Upton Sinclair.

One time this guy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and an ENTIRE KETTLE of MOLTEN STEEL tipped and poured down on him. There wasn't even anything left of him. He was just, like, vaporized. It was pretty awful.

[Zhukov]

^ Jesus fucking Christ

Let's continue the morbid theme to the news:

GORDON RAMSEY SEX DWARF FOUND DEAD IN BADGER SETT

PS: It may look like a cheap porn site, but it's actually a respected UK newspaper.

[k0k0]

Giving you props for finding that. I laughed. But it is sad.

[kahljorn]

haha a mini gordon ramsay porn star

what the hell

[Tadao]

Yeah, I forwarded that to my buddy. We used to spam each other with midget porn.

[Dimnos]

Sex Dwarf.

[Zhukov]

Gays can now get married here and everything.

Tasmania green-lights gay marriage in parliament vote

A HISTORIC motion backing same-sex marriage has been passed by the Tasmanian House of Assembly.

It is the first time an Australian parliament has voted in favor of marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples, The Mercury reports.
The Greens motion also called on the Federal Government to change the Marriage Act.

Debate on the motion was watched by local and interstate same-sex marriage activists in the public gallery and by a large national audience on the parliament's internet broadcast.

The Labor Party backed the motion while the Liberal Party voted against it.

The historic moves comes 14 years after sodomy was decriminalised in Tasmania.



Ok, so that's more local news. I don't know anyone that's actually getting married, but plenty of people who support this and are happy for it. Including me.

[executioneer]

but what about lesbian couples with small breasts, though

[Fathom Zero]

yeah that's exactly like little boys getting married

[k0k0]

I wonder if they have any lesbian porn where they get married and then just start doing it and the priestess or whatever joins in.

[Zhukov]

I didn't even hear about this small breast thing anywhere else but on this forum. I don't think it exists.

Koko - well, that's what I figured, yeah.

[Pentegarn]

Originally Posted by Zhukov

I didn't even hear about this small breast thing anywhere else but on this forum. I don't think it exists.

Koko - well, that's what I figured, yeah.

There's a brief history of it here, the original links it references are gone though. The Anonymous d-bags cyber-attacked Aussie government websites over it too.

As it turned out it was all rumor-mongering though

[Evil Robot II]

What kind of story contains the sentence "The third-place winner was given two hand grenades."?

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/21/world/africa/shabab-gives-unusual-prizes-for-somali-children-in-contest.html

[Zhukov]

I'm more surprised that Somalia has something resembling talk back radio. Still, in all seriousness, I think that for the environment that these children have to grow up in, an AK is probably a more useful prize than some shite plastic crap disguised as toys.