FORUM EVENT: "I-MOCKERY'S 2011 SECRET SANTA EVENT!"

[MrSmiley381]

So I received a magical box from the strange land of Canada with the following wrapped gifts, as well as some letters.



So the first package had powdery sugar candy canes. Cocaine canes. Sent internationally.



The second was a Transformer, with product placement by Lowe's. When I was a kid all we got were die-cast metal robots. This is much better, because it actually confused me when I tried to Transform it! This toy was officially more complex than every game released in 2011.



And what else? More robots! Robots that help me keep track of time! Happy 2009 everyone!



So the next package was DVD-shaped. So I think, it's "Transformers" on DVD of some variant, right? Well, my secret Santa was better than that. He knew. He mentioned this in one of his letters. Tricky bastard!



So the next package had more goddamn awesome robot shit in it. As it turns out, I didn't own either of these, so my Santa guessed right! Cyborg Justice is notorious more it's bumping robot dance techno, so I can't wait to play it again after all these years. Too bad my Genesis is still in New York D:



So, get this. In Canada, milk comes in bags. Additionally, candy packages open open upside-down.



Also, my gifts combined (like Combaticons!) into a car on a ramp! Sexy!



I DO COCAINE!



Blood_Panther definitely didn't drop the ball! Thanks a lot man!

[BatmanJohnson]

Amazing look at all of my presents From Babs before the wrapping paper was shredded with the force of a hundred honey badgers on crack.
(I may've exaggerated slightly)


First thing I opened! CANDY GLORIOUS SUGARY CANDY! AND COOKIES, TRIPLE CHOCOLATE. But I digress from everything else because of the delcious sweet tarts sour patch kids cookies and toblerone.....


The letter said he wanted to take Santa out of the picture. What better way than with an excellent horror movie!


Next up we have an Eldridge tome written by none other than HP Lovecraft(and others) Have to include the others or they may get jealous and strangle me.... why is it suddenly drafty in here.... somethings not right


Nah Just my imagination running wild...... wait what is that on my shoulder...



HOOOLLLLYYYY


FUCCCKKKINNNGGG


SHIT BURGERS..... It's my own cuddly eldritch god.. I shall feed him the souls of the damned and the not so damned, so long as I'm not on the menu......


And finally an awesome Horror comic by the name of GOre Shriek.... I've only skimmed the first few pages but I love older horror comics so I'm sure I'll love it once I get time to read it!




So here's a group shot. A big thank you to Babality pancakes for making my christmas a very black christmas(albeit sugared up)

[replicant]

Sweet loot Batman! :D

[Dr. Boogie]

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman

Am I banned today? D:

No, you're fine. I got your package last week, but I've been busy moving. And then I lost the USB cord for my camera.

But I finally found it, and so without further ado, my SS package from Guitar Woman:





Thankfully, the package made its way to my doorstep in spite of the fact that my name was misspelled on the address labels. "Bowler"? Oh, Cliff.

Such an unassuming box, but loaded with such goodies:




Delicious Sour Patch Kids! I admit that as I was opening the box, I was secretly hoping to find some candy inside, and I do love sour candies. Mmm mm!




I was definitely not expecting a bottle of scotch. I'm not much of a drinker myself, but the note that came with the box assured me that this is the good stuff. And if nothing else, I've got a couple nice shot glasses!




Star Wars merchandise that both delights eyes and tantalizes the taste buds all at once? Count me in! Now if only I could remember where I packed my baking ingredients...




Mmm, more tasty snacks... I assume. I haven't gotten around to trying them to decide if these were meant as joke gifts or real snacks.




Bacon toothpaste and dental floss! Now I finally have a way to make my breath smell like bacon without eating any bacon! I wonder when Mr. Bacon's life began; would it be when he was first shaved off a pig's torso, or was it shortly after he was transformed from a raw, greasy strip of fat into a crinkly ribbon of cooked meat?

I'm hungry.




Every month is Halloween when you've got the zombie calendar! Who do you have telling you what day it is, Dilbert? Fuck you.




Also included were some... potatoes. Now I can make home fries for Christmas dinner!




Bear earmuffs. It doesn't get cold enough to wear earmuffs in southern California very often, but when it does, I'll be ready. Ready and fuzzy.




The Freeloader Fork, a telescopic fork for annoying dinner guests up to 2 feet away. Look at that extending action:




Ooh! Ah!



I don't know what these little plastic guns are for, but I've got two of them. Maybe they tie in with the potatoes somehow. Or maybe they're just blackhead guns. Could go either way.

All in all, a pretty good haul this year. Nicely done, GW.

[ChrisGlass]

Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie

I don't know what these little plastic guns are for, but I've got two of them. Maybe they tie in with the potatoes somehow. Or maybe they're just blackhead guns. Could go either way.

All in all, a pretty good haul this year. Nicely done, GW.

I think the guns are for the ear muffs... somehow.