Serious Question: Is there a wrong way to Masturbate?

[Mike]

Deep Thoughts by Hack Jandey:

The first time I saw that little rapper gobble thing I considered how much fun it was going to be having this new member on the board. I thought "hmmm" it'll be like watching those little lighted cylinders in pinball machines go "boing". Then I thought about how much more it would be like swimming with some people and suddenly one of them gets attacked by a shark. I think a good gag would be to say you're going to go get help and then pretend you are getting attacked by another shark. While you thrash around with the plastic fin, argue about who is going to get help. You will both feel better when you tell your friend that it was just a joke.