We've got one here at school that is like astro-printer. It's half as tall as i am, and they call it HAL. It's the damndest thing, too, every time i try to leave the school in the afternoon, the doors lock shut in front of me.
2001: A Space Odysyee(sp?) .
I wrote a review for that...and it seems to be lost in the bowels of I Mock.
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Gas and masturbation are highly unlikely to be connected with each other. Have you tried to stop masturbating? Has the gas subsided as a result? Perhaps you could try the same experiment by increasing the times you masturbate daily. Do you notice that the gas is increasing?