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Protoclown · #1

This is the caliber of joke that my relatives think is funny.

A woman bought a new Lexus LS400, and returned the
next day, complaining that she couldn't figure out how
the radio worked.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice
activated.
He said..."Nelson!"

The radio asked, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued. "On The Road Again" came from
the speakers.

She drove away happy, and for the next few days, every
time she'd say, "Beethoven", she'd get beautiful
classical music, and if she said, "Beatles!" she'd get
one of their awesome songs.

One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed
her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid a wreck
and yelled "ASSHOLES!

The Dixie Chicks came on singing the French National
Anthem.

ScruU2wice · #2

all my relatives send me are really gay chain letters which i dont even open anymore... but this really isnt any better

Sethomas · #3

No offense to your dear ones, but I find it interesting how the opiated masses are so willing to remind us how fucking stupid they are, just as I was almost able to go 15 seconds without it bogging me down.

Cap'n Crunch · #4

That has to be one of the lamest things I have ever read. Your family seems to hate everyone who say or do something against America.

Protoclown · #5

Yes, most of my family's political/social views disgust me, so I try not to talk about such things to them. I don't like to argue with them because it never goes anywhere. But they keep sending me this shit.

I should start sending diametrically opposed jokes and websites to the ones they send to me.

AChimp · #6

Start sending them jokes about pedophiles.

Q: What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson.
A: Acne doesn't come on boys' faces until they are around 13.

Psycho Squid · #7

That joke doesn't even make sense. I mean the Dixie Chicks aren't even French.

Mike · #8

The Dixie Chicks got kicked off the radio stations because they spoke out against the war. So much for free speech huh? And the republicans claim that the media isn't biased.

Sethomas · #9

Id est, Clear Channel Broadcasting has a bias. :/

sadie · #10

proto, i remember that one email you wrote refuting the racist one someone in your family had sent. it was excellent. you should write more. and put them all together for a big visionary darkness thingy on family relations.

FS · #11

For some reason, this line made me laugh:

and if she said, "Beatles!" she'd get
one of their awesome songs.

But yeah, talk about humor being another emotion with its mask on.

pjalne · #12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psycho Squid

That joke doesn't even make sense. I mean the Dixie Chicks aren't even French.

The French opposed the war. Two birds with one shitbrick.

Carnivore · #13

You were adopted. They're not your real family.

FartinMowler · #14

Here's one I got yesterday from a relative :/

>There were two blonde guys working for the city
> >One would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill the
> >hole in. They worked furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a
> >hole, the other guy filling it in again.
> >An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what
> >they were doing. So he asked the hole digger,
> >"I appreciate the effort you are putting into your
> >work, but what's the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows
> >behind and fills it up again."
> >The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, normally we are a
> >three-man team, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today."

[/quote]

Geggy · #15

If I had one of those voice activation program in my car and I shout 'ASSHOLE!', the song would play 10 times for each time I go out for a drive. That's how many asshole drivers there are out there.

Protoclown · #16

Thanks Sadie. I really wanted to do a mass reply to that email going off about how that was the dumbest joke ever, but I don't want to piss off my relatives. :/

I love 'em, but they just don't "get it".

kellychaos · #17

I was waiting for Dennis Leary to come blaring out!

Professor Cool · #18

I got a joke just like that from my friends dad, except in mine she says "FAGGOTS" and the Backstreet Boys come on. FUNNY PEOPLE, FUN-NY PEOPLE.

HickMan · #19

I'm glad my family dosn't try to communicate with my through stupid jokes. Though, we dont really talk at all.

Bennett · #20

I heard that your family talks to you more often if you murder them and eat the remains... from a friend, of course.

kellychaos · #21

I consumed my younger brother in that fashion during a family trip to Disney Land. Everyone thought he got lost and he was on a lot of milk cartons for a while. He used to like fried chicken. I like fried chicken now. Funny how that works. :/

Rongi · #22

Sorry to bump an old thread, but this sort of thing happens to me a lot too.

And when they ask you if you got their e-mail and ask you if they like the joke, you have to pretend like it's the funniest thing you've ever read

Jixby Phillips · #23

I don't give my relatives my email adress. Except my mom, who knows I'm a comedy snob. She just emails me about DVD releases that I either already know about or allready bought. She knows what I like, and that's awesome.