both of my sons look exactly like their fathers.

i wondered aloud at this the other night, and kevin said i must have weak genes. i was thinking maybe it's my just desserts.
it's not as much that i'd want either of them to look like me; it's more that i'd rather not have to see their fathers so vividly when i look at them. maybe then i could fool myself, forget.
it doesn't make me love them any less; it reminds me of what a fool i've been, which leads me to realize that if i hadn't been such a fool, i wouldn't have my sons. and that just wouldn't do. <3