SomethingAwful's Comedy Goldmine for this Tuesday was a telling of two stories from one of their goons, who used to (or still does) work as a zookeeper.
I'd copy and paste this in the Stories for the Bored forum, but there are also some pictures that I can't link. Also, none of you use the Stories for the Bored, unless it's for a haiku or stupid ongoing story. I hate you.
Anyway, the first story is entitled "Bigpeeler Gets It In The Ass From An Ostrich." The second is "Herman The Elephant Stomps His Cock."
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1377
Go read it. They are fucking hilarious.