You look like my crazy ex-girlfriend who had to go live at a hospital because she was anorexic and addicted to cocaine and booze and cut her arms with scissors and had herpes (but she didn't give it to me). Only she was kind of older and hotter and better dressed.
Thank god you don't look like me. I'd hate for some hot girls to come up to me and be like "Hey Sam, I saw this guy who looked like you, but i realized it wasn't you because he was a colossal faggot from Illinois and he just made me want to throw up all over myself until i died from exhaustion."