Features

Mockery · #1

Quote:

Originally Posted by Embee90

And here is the story with my gifts. (External link because of the large amount of pictures.)

Great job Embee90! Glad some of you are really putting some effort into your stories 'n all. Most rocktacular. :O

Also...

For those of you not in the know, that's exactly what a real penis looks like.

Misdemonar · #2

Quote:

Originally Posted by sjmck

Gosh, it was so cleverly hidden, I never even noticed! I guess I'm going to have more pictures to post, then.

YOUR SARCASM HAS NO VALUE HERE MISTER

Tadao · #3

MarioRPG · #4

"you're good with the flag"

e: 'story' up later today

Zomboid · #5

I'VE REALLY ENJOYED SENDING MY MOM OUT TO THE MAILBOX DAY AFTER DAY AND SEEING HER RETURN EMPTY-HANDED EVERY TIME, PROTOCLOWN

BE PREPARED TO BAN YOURSELF

Protoclown · #6

Maybe the mail man froze to death or something

Sam · #7

If Mattjack doesn't post the pictures of what I got him I am going to be ONE THOUSAND TIMES more pissed then when ItalianStereotype didn't post pictures of what I got for him.

Because he should have amazing pictures if he uses all of the items properly.

Tadao · #8

I KNOW! I got CIG a dildo, and she refuses to send me pics of her using it.

MattJack · #9

I WOULD LUV TO POST PICTURES BUT MY CAMERA APPARENTLY CAN ONLY TAKE SEVEN PICTURES BEFORE RUNNING COMPLETELY OUT OF BATTERY LIFE

FUCK YOU ENERGIZER BUNNY

Sam · #10

I have that camera.

MattJack · #11

7.2 mega pixels are worthless if you can only take seven pictures at a time. I just wasted a pack o' batteries.

All good though, the wait makes it that much better.

That's what Elvis said to his wife before he could fuc* her, must be true

executioneer · #12

you need to get som NiMh rechargambles yall they last for ever and plus they are rechargable

MattJack · #13

unbanned willie is like an i-mockery god

Asila · #14

I fecking have like 100 pics but i have run out of funny

Zomboid · #15

My cell phone has a 5.0 megapixel camera. I AM COOLER THAN YOU, MATTJACK.

bigtimecow · #16

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FUCKING PRESENT YOU GAY ASS MOTHERFUCKERS GODDAMIT YOU RUINED FUCKING CHRISTMAS FUCK FUCK UFCK UFASJKDCA89J9DHUCX X

:<.; >;>;

.:> ; >;

> ;

Harry Lime · #17

Got my package today! Pics soon!!!

Zomboid · #18

I got my package from Protoclown today :O. I just took some pics, but I won't have em uploaded until tomorrow.

Proto, YA DONE GOOD. I am finding one of the items especially useful and will surely assist in getting me some vagina tonight.

Protoclown · #19

Yay, I don't have to ban myself

Zomboid · #20

Hey, proto. GUESS WHO'S DRUNK?

THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAH, SO I USED THE 'STACHE COMB LIKE 20 TIMES TONIGHT, AND GOT YELLED AT FOR PRODUCING "WHAT LOOKS LIKE A KNIFE."

SRSLY THO, I COMBED MY BEARD ' N LOVED IT!!!!!!!!

Protoclown · #21

OH FUCK YES YOU HAVE FACIAL HAIR

lumpisan · #22

hey everybody i got my package awhile ago but my camera is refusing to cooperate.... i am trying to get it to work so bear with me but I got my package from Kevashim and it is full of wonders far beyond your mere mortal comprehension

Kevashim · #23

Glad to hear you liked the gifts, I put my heart and soul into picking them... well kind of!

On another note I have finally stopped visiting family members, at least until the 24th, and have taken the oppportunity to take a few snaps of my gifts from Embee90. Unfortunately they are not conducive to a story so much, but damn I really like them both.

First up we have a Freddy Krueger action figure from A Nightmare on Elm Street 5.

This bad boy is far too good to remove from the packaging and has taken up residence in a prestigious position alongisde my favourite "Army of Darkness: Ash vs Evil Ash" set.

Now really, the pièce de résistance is the second gift.

Can you believe a 'John McCain, a call to "action" figure'? His wise and steely gaze shall ever watch over my internet usage, guiding me to eternal vigilance!

Seriously though, this has to be the least poseable action figure ever. Rotatable head? Check! Leg joints? Denied! Movable arms? Check, but only if you like arms to be able to windmill! There is absolutely no chance of recreating the bad-ass pose depicted on the back of the box, which of course I immediately tried to do.

Despite all this I still think it is brilliant and heartily thank Embee90 for both of my gifts.

Microshock · #24

Fucking USPS fucked me over, not getting there till after christmas. Eh, at least its getting there.....: (

Sam · #25

Dr. Boogie gave me my gifts.

I had an idea for a really dumb, convoluted story where all my gifts were alive and talked and did stuff.

I thought it would be too pretentious.

This is a cool little Lego set. I fucking love Legos and this was probably my favorite gift.

This is some weird moon sand stuff. I wish I had some Hello Kitty Fruit Snacks to put in it.

In my story he was going to be an old man for some reason. :/

Some Peeps Christmas trees. I took them to work and someone ate all of them.

The only thing I could think of when I saw ping pong balls was putting them in an Asian girl's vagina and watching them shoot out.

WHO THE HELL BUYS TOOTSIE ROLLS THAT ARE NOT REGULAR FLAVORED.

The Pixos is funny, because it reminds me of the AquaDots. Basically they are the same product, but a while back AquaDots got banned because the beads had GHB in them, and kids were eating them and getting all high and fucked up. There were also reports of people buying them by the case loads.

Sadly, these would not get my fucked up if I ate them.

In my story the ping pong balls were going to get jealous of the legos and eat some of the pixos beads and then kill the legos with a gun. I was going to take a picture of the legos box with legos pieces sprayed out of it like guts.

For some reason it reminded me of Wacky Deli, especially the Peeps.

That was the only part of the story I had so I gave up.

THANKS DR. BOOGIE FOR SECRET SANTA 2009!